This is a pretty much pointless post, so i would not feel obligated to actually read it if i were you.
i want a woman who:
is strong of character, gentle of spirit
loves me for who i am and challenges me to become who i'm meant to be
doesn't care if her body isn't "perfect" according to the standards of society
has a vision for her life that compliments and supplements my own
has a passion for justice and the oppressed
doesn't expect me to be the guy from any one of those stupid chick flicks
can see just why St. Valentine's Day is such a scam
is alright with occasionally wearing dresses/skirts
is able and willing to open up to me, and is willing to let me open up to her
is able and willing to put up with my wackiness
doesn't buy into the lie that love = flowers/chocolates/jewelery/$$$
follows her own sense of fashion, unpolluted by society
likes holding hands and cuddling
is good with kids (and wants her own someday)
is eccentric in her tastes (though i suppose that would pretty much be a given if she were to end up with me)
is intelligent and thoughtful, not frightened of introspection
is affectionate, not clingy
is able to accept the fact that i do have friends who i may want to spend time with
is communicative, says what she means (forgive me, i am a guy, thus, i am oblivious)
is able to live without me and doesn't think about me constantly (i don't want anyone addicted to, or obsessed with me, that's not love, it's creepy, and i only like the whole statement "you complete me" when it's being said to Batman by Joker)
i probably ought to make it clear that Dante never did end up with Beatrice, he simply viewed her as the incarnation of beatific love. His love for her was secret, unrequited and highly respectful. She was a muse of his, he wrote a number of sonnets to her, and one of his more popular works, La Vita Nuova, was also inspired by her. That is why i chose her name to represent this ideal of mine.
Showing posts with label romantic love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label romantic love. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
What's love got to do, got to do with it?
I have found I do the vast majority of my introspection late at night. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about love, and not the unconditional, look-out-for-your-fellow-man type love, but the *gasp* romantic variety.
While this is one of the only areas in life in which I am a genuine cynic, it is also one of the things a desire most. A "significant other," someone I can write cheesy poetry about and go for long walks with, hand in hand. I've had this strong desire for this kind of love for as long as I can remember, I've had countless crushes throughout my life, and almost as many rejections. I have come to the conclusion that these rejections, coupled with my intense desire for requited love, have had something of a major impact on me. I have found that when a girl expresses interest in me, and there is the slightest chance, however minute it may be, that something could possibly come of it, immediately my heart says: "Good enough!" and latches on to that person.
This has happened on more than one occasion.
The prime example would be the girl I dated (yes, there has only been one, surprise!). Here's the story: It was my grade twelve year, and there was this really cute girl in one of the choirs I was in. Me and her struck up a friendship, we talked quite a bit. I got to liking her something awful, and she eventually admitted to having some feelings for me. So, what did the ever-brilliant Brenden Knight end up doing? He started dating one of her friends. Now, why would I do something like that? Well, I knew this girl wouldn't be able to date for a while, and I found out her friend would indeed date me if I were to ask her out. Later I found out the girl I dated wasn't even all that interested in me in the beginning either. Shockingly enough, this not so well-founded relationship lasted for 13 months. By then it was obvious we were terrible for each other, and so she broke it off. Also, I should point out that I wanted to end it, but didn't because I'm a wuss. Now, being two and a half years after the fact, I am just coming to grips with just how wrong the relationship was, it ruined the friendship I had with both girls mentioned.
So how do I go about taking off these shaded glasses that I wear? How do I find the middle ground between my bitter cynicism towards romance in general and my overpowering desire for such a relationship? People have told me to "just let it go" or "give it to God," but I am still unclear as to what that means exactly, and how I go about doing such a thing. I'm sure my somewhat obsessive personality doesn't help the matter much at all...
Well, I'm tired now, and I don't really know what else to say about the matter.
While this is one of the only areas in life in which I am a genuine cynic, it is also one of the things a desire most. A "significant other," someone I can write cheesy poetry about and go for long walks with, hand in hand. I've had this strong desire for this kind of love for as long as I can remember, I've had countless crushes throughout my life, and almost as many rejections. I have come to the conclusion that these rejections, coupled with my intense desire for requited love, have had something of a major impact on me. I have found that when a girl expresses interest in me, and there is the slightest chance, however minute it may be, that something could possibly come of it, immediately my heart says: "Good enough!" and latches on to that person.
This has happened on more than one occasion.
The prime example would be the girl I dated (yes, there has only been one, surprise!). Here's the story: It was my grade twelve year, and there was this really cute girl in one of the choirs I was in. Me and her struck up a friendship, we talked quite a bit. I got to liking her something awful, and she eventually admitted to having some feelings for me. So, what did the ever-brilliant Brenden Knight end up doing? He started dating one of her friends. Now, why would I do something like that? Well, I knew this girl wouldn't be able to date for a while, and I found out her friend would indeed date me if I were to ask her out. Later I found out the girl I dated wasn't even all that interested in me in the beginning either. Shockingly enough, this not so well-founded relationship lasted for 13 months. By then it was obvious we were terrible for each other, and so she broke it off. Also, I should point out that I wanted to end it, but didn't because I'm a wuss. Now, being two and a half years after the fact, I am just coming to grips with just how wrong the relationship was, it ruined the friendship I had with both girls mentioned.
So how do I go about taking off these shaded glasses that I wear? How do I find the middle ground between my bitter cynicism towards romance in general and my overpowering desire for such a relationship? People have told me to "just let it go" or "give it to God," but I am still unclear as to what that means exactly, and how I go about doing such a thing. I'm sure my somewhat obsessive personality doesn't help the matter much at all...
Well, I'm tired now, and I don't really know what else to say about the matter.
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